#TIMEOUT

Have you ever needed time out to just simply breathe? 

I know I have. 

One day I nearly broke down in court. I excused myself in the middle of a case, left the courtroom and broke down crying in the magistrate’s office. 

Like many weeks before, I was overwhelmed with guilt and stress trying to comprehend my feelings toward my parents and ultimately knowing I can’t help either of them.

From sleepless nights, lack of concentration, and my crying in court, I discovered that I needed an outlet, and to simply take time for myself when I need it. Reflecting on what my outlet should be, I realized that writing helps me reflect on where I’ve been, what I still need to do, and how to process my feelings.

Some titles I could come up with?

•  Attorneys aren’t supposed to cry... especially in court 

• Slowly Killing Myself Trying To Help Someone that Does Not Want Help

• Easier Said Than Done

• Getting Out of My Own Way 

• Time out! 

Like many others, I have faced severe trauma. What we now classify as “Adverse Childhood Experiences” my count is higher than most people I know. Working through all of that as an adult can be emotionally draining, especially as I try to help my mother through her mental illness. 

Recently, In an effort to help others, I wrote an article called History With a Twist and submitted it to the employee newsletter at work. It felt gratifying to know that perhaps someone else could learn from my experience or simply know that they are not alone. 

People often ask me,  “How do you do it?” Today, I have the answer. Time out.