Stiletto Ceilings Hurt Like a MF (ah, not er)

When women block other women from rising up the corporate ladder - politics, school, church, work, - their victims may feel stabbed in the head as they attempt to rise. It's disheartening to learn that when a woman applies for a role, seeks a promotion, or tries to establish mentoring relationships and fails, another woman prevented her from doing so. Back in the day we called it throwing salt in someone's game. And, it seems that the practice has not only persisted but evolved into a more insidious form of sabotage.

The phrase throwing salt may have faded from common vernacular, but the underlying issue remains palpable. Women, who have faced and overcome myriad obstacles in pursuit of their ambitions, sometimes become, NOT ALLIES, BUT RATHER SOLE CRUSHERS (pun intended). This phenomenon often stems from a scarcity mindset—a belief that there are only a limited number of opportunities available, leading some women to feel threatened by the success of other women. Not too long ago, we saw it with Nancy Pelosi (literally known for wearing HEELS even after her fall, for which she needed hip surgery) backing a 74 year old man rather than Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to serve as ranking member of the Oversight Committee. I call this woman vs. woman masonry a "stiletto ceiling". On an even bigger stage, based on the demographics of voters, some may argue white women built a stiletto ceiling that prevented Vice President Kamala Harris' rise to the presidency.

It’s troubling to witness how internalized misogyny can manifest its ugly sole. Instead of building each other up, some women find themselves engaging in competitive behaviors that ultimately hinder collective progress. This betrayal is particularly painful when it occurs among peers who ought to understand the shared struggles and triumphs of being a woman in a male-dominated environment.

To combat this, we must foster a culture of collaboration and support. Initiatives that emphasize the importance of mentorship and allyship are crucial. Achieving equality demands a collective effort; especially with the all out assault on Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. Instead, we must amplify the power of unity. When women support each other, our potential is limitless, and together, we can reach unprecedented heights. If a woman needs training, more experience, or mentorship, what's the problem with facilitating those opportunities for her rather than putting a sharp heel out to trip her? It’s essential to recognize that one woman’s success does not diminish another’s. Rather, it opens doors for future generations.

Glass ceilings have been broken, and even cement ceilings now show openings for some women to advance. I pray that it's not just a utopia where women support one another and build a strong network capable of overcoming obstacles and withstanding misogyny. I pray it’s not too much to expect. I pray that those who make it WILL stand strong in their stilettos and extend a helping hand rather than USING their heels to stand in the way of those rising up, PREVENTING them from joining the rare air beyond the ceiling. I have hope in witnessing strong networks of women who are making THIS utopia a reality.